The Center for Disease Control reports that over 5.7 million teens in the United States, or more than 30% are estimated to be involved in bullying as bully, victim, or both. Even the CDC admits that accurate data is limited - making it more likely that these numbers are low estimates. The Center for Disease Control also reports a 76% increase in the number of suicides among children aged 10-14. It is common knowledge among mental health specialists and those knowledgeable on the subject of depression that more than 90 percent of people who die by suicide have depression or another diagnosable mental disorder. With such an alarming increase in pre-teen and teen suicide, along with much more publicized incidents of school violence, one cannot help but ask what is causing such depression and despair in this young group of people. A person just doesn't wake up one morning with depression. Psychologists believe that some people have a genetic tendency towards depression, some people develop depression because of environmental triggers, and some people can have both genetic and environmental triggers. Perhaps these children were more sensitive than most. And therefore, were more susceptible to the effects of the torment they endured.
In the adult world, we have laws against "Bullying" crimes. We do not tolerate these crimes in "our" workplace. Yet, our children are told they must tolerate this in "their" workplace-- our public schools. Society, in general, has the mindset that it is "all right" or "a rite of passage" for "Bullies" to deliberately and systematically destroy their victims-- our children. Why, but why, would anyone ask our children to endure more than we as adults could? How could anyone expect our children to make it through humiliation, torment, isolation, assaults or a brutal beating unscathed? We shouldn't. And they don't. As long as this mindset prevails, our most vulnerable will continue to be our least protected. Oh, some kids will survive the "Bullies" just like some adults survive being victimized. However, in both instances, the injuries and the recovery depends largely on the number, frequency, severity and duration of the crime or crimes.
Some children will leave school to escape the victimization. They might only be deprived of their education-- a small price to pay to escape the torment and humiliation. Some children will leave their hometowns to get away from the harassment and torture. Some children will turn to substance abuse and self-medicate in an attempt to escape their pain and suffering. Some will lose all self-confidence and always believe that there must be something wrong with them-- that they did deserve it like everyone said. (If not, why would those in a position to help-- to save them from a living hell-- have condoned these crimes against them?) Some children will leave this world to escape their living hell on this earth-- as their pain is with them wherever they go. This result is becoming so much more common that it even has it's own name - bullycide.
Other children will learn to accept the physical and/or psychological injuries inflicted upon them-- "just for fun." They will go to the doctors and take their medications and accept the fact that life isn't fair. They won't question "the system" or why they were not allowed to get a public education "just because" someone didn't like the way they dressed, or perhaps the way they looked. Or maybe it was the music they listened to, or the vehicle they drove. Could have been that they were really intelligent or perhaps that they really struggled to learn. Or maybe the "Bullies" used even better excuses like they thought they were a Christian or they thought they were a Satanist, they thought they were gay or they thought they were straight, they thought they were rich or they thought they were poor, etc., etc., etc.At any rate, surely, we shouldn't think that these victims would have a problem with some "Bullies" setting themselves up as judge, jury and executioner-- thus depriving their victims of their education, their health and their happiness. Surely, we should expect the victims to be okay-- to come through this uninjured and unscathed?When we don't acknowledge "Bullying" as a "real" crime, we dismiss the very real injuries that are inflicted upon it's victims. Although the the psychological injuries and the extent can be varied, they are real injuries. Sometimes, the symptoms are internalized and sometimes they are externalized-- sometimes both. In either case "Bullying" kills. In both cases children die. You may be reading this and thinking that this is not an issue for your child or your family. I would say to you that that is impossible. Every child fits into one of three groups, bullies, victims or bystanders. Every child has either a role in the problem, or the power to play a part in the solution. I will be breaking these groups down for you over the next several days. I will also be outlining the different types of bullying, some of which may surprise you. I will also be sharing heart breaking personal stories from victims of bullies and parents who have lost their children as a result of it. My hope is to make parents aware of the problem and to create an atmosphere in which the masses ask our school district what they are doing to make our childrens' schools a place they feel safe. There are numerous resources available to school districts to deal with these issues in ways that are far less superficial than their current approach and it is time they deemed this problem as more than a "right of passage." For some it is too late, for some it will be in the nick of time, and others may have the fortune of being spared victimization in the future.
Editor's Note: What's your opinion on bullying in our schools? As Diana's series continues over the next few days, I welcome and encourage you to share your thoughts, comments and experiences with bullying here on the blog or in the discussion forums (see link below). Thanks! -Josh
